don't want to die today
by TheHarleyQueen
Summary: If Mal had had her way, she'd never have discovered her soulmate. She'd have lived and died alone like she wanted to (preferably after establishing a powerful legacy). As it was, Mal discovered her soulmates at thirteen, after fighting Jay cause he was trying to defend Carlos and shocking everyone as Jay's mark flickered down, and Evie's mark flickered up.


_You have a meter of the danger your soulmate is in on your skin._

* * *

Mal was born with a glittering ebony _76_ on her wrist. In the mornings, it would jump up to 89 before settling back down to a solid 76. It sometimes flickered down, to high eighties, or flickered up, near one hundred.

Her mother had tried to cut it out with a razor blade.

Mal was born with mauve hair and eagle's wings {_crumpled, crippled, broken, didn't work, failed_} and wildfyre eyes. She was born with curling horns that she could hide if she brushed her hair the right way.

* * *

Evie was born with a swirling midnight _84_ that wrapped around her index finger like a ring.

Her mother coated it with makeup.

Evie was born with fingernails that shifted into claws and deep blue hair that burst into flames when she was angry. She was born with black eyes that glowed like coals.

* * *

Carlos was born with a jet black _99 _on his hip bone.

His mother grabbed it hard enough to bruise whenever she saw it.

Carlos was born with snow-white hair and weak lungs. He was born with one brown eye and one blue eye.

* * *

Jay was born with an ink-coloured _92 _at the nape of his neck. It sometimes flickered down, to high eighties, or flickered up, near one hundred.

His father scoffed at it and downed half a bottle of brandy.

Jay was born with a thick head of black curls and shining white cuffs at his wrists. He was born with dark brown eyes and a crippled leg.

* * *

Ben was born with a slim, baby pink _79_ behind his ear.

His parents cooed over it and set out to find the person with the same colour and font.

Ben was born with his mother's hair and his father's eyes. He was born into a soft life and warm room and happy days. He was born with a crown on his head and responsibilities on his shoulders.

* * *

Uma was born with a rosy _1 _next to her right eye. Uma was born with an absolute _hatred_ for her soulmate, her safe, Auradonian soulmate.

Ursula smacked her the first time she brought it up.

Uma was born with tentacles that her mother traded for legs and a voice that her mother kept as a cruel _joke_. She was born with sea blue hair and gills _and _lungs.

* * *

If Mal had had her way, she'd never have discovered her soulmate. She'd have lived and died alone like she wanted to (preferably after establishing a powerful legacy).

As it was, Mal discovered her soulmate_s_ at thirteen, after fighting Jay cause he was trying to defend Carlos and shocking everyone as Jay's mark flickered down, and Evie's mark flickered up.

It was _unheard of_. No one had more than one soulmate. _No one_. It was different and wrong and Mal _hated _them, at first.

{_She looked after them anyway. She didn't like them, but they were __**hers**_}.

But one night, late, she was walking down an alley and there was suddenly a knife at her throat. And all she heard Carlos's scream from upstairs before Evie was barrelling down the stairs to tackle her assailant.

And then… well, the four of them made _sense_. Each person had one other that was _their _responsibility, but they also _loved_ each other, and that was all that mattered.

* * *

When Ben invited four kids from the Isle to complete their schooling, it was partially with the selfish motive of finding his soulmate. Maybe, _maybe_, one of them knew who it was. Hell, none of them had a registered soulmate- it could _be _one of them.

It wasn't.

The daughter of Maleficent, the son of Jafar, the daughter of Grimhilde and the son of Cruella de Vil all wore matching 'marks, black and curved letters.

It was unusual {_unprecedented_}.

But Evie whispered to him about the girl with a pink _one_ on her cheek, the girl with no voice and wild blue curls.

But he had to prove that this would work, first.

* * *

Jay, Evie and Carlos were curled up on the two double beds. Mal was… somewhere. But it was peaceful. Evie was reading a novel she'd picked up from the library and jay was playing video games. Carlos was dozing.

Then it began.

Carlos _shrieked_, a piercing sound full of pain, something they hadn't heard from him since they'd been on the _Isle_. Evie dropped her book and Jay jumped into action, scanning the room for what was hurting Carlos.

There was nothing, but he continued shouting in agony, hands clawing at his hip bone. And when Evie managed to pull the hem of his sweatpants down, she stopped in shock. Because there, where Mal's number had always been, was a _100_, burning red. It looked as though he'd been _branded._

"Jay," she called softly, and he hurried back so fast that he hit his shin against a chair.

"_Shit_," he swore, digging his nails into his palms, "Shit. Shit. _Shit!_ E, where's your mirror?" She pulled it out from her breast pocket {_it never left her person_}.

"Mirror, mirror, in my hand, what puts Mal's life in danger... in this strange land?" The mirror flashed grey for a moment before the colour disappeared to reveal Mal herself. She was standing on the edge of the roof, eyes closed, swaying slightly. Tears ran down her face in thick tracks.

"_Fuck_," Jay said empathetically, before turning from Carlos, "He can't walk. We have to go, _now_." But Carlos groaned and balled his hands into tight fists, "I can come."

"No, you can't," Jay snapped, but Carlos was standing up anyway. When he tried to put weight on his right leg, he crumpled. It was only Jay's arms, which had been out to catch him since he'd started `to get up, that kept him from hitting the floor.

"I don't _care_, let him come," Evie said, already halfway out the door, "We need to go to the roof."

Evie took the stairs three at a time. Jay and Carlos took the elevator, Carlos because he couldn't stomach the stairs and Jay because he couldn't stomach leaving Carlos alone.

"_Mal!"_ Evie screamed as she burst through the door, "Mal!"

The faerie turned around, eyes wide.

"E, no. Go back inside," she tried to insist, but Evie just took another step forward. All it led to was Mal taking a quarter-step back and wobbling on the edge of the building.

"Mal, you don't want to do this," Evie tried to insist, voice soft as she crept forward.

"I do," Mal said, no uncertainty in her voice, "I _do_. I just don't want to do it with you here. Go back inside, E." She repeated.

"No," Evie asserted, "No. Mal, if you're really going to do this, you have to face the consequences. You have to hear me screaming. You have to hear Carlos screaming as his 'mark fades."

"You'll get over it."

"No, we wouldn't, Mal. Why would you do this to us?" Tears dripped over her cheeks, but Mal turned away from her.

"I'm doing it _for_ you," Mal insisted, "E, when we came to Auradon, your numbers _dropped_. To sixteen, to twenty, to _eight_. Mine dropped to _seventy-six_. I'm putting all of you in danger by _living_."

"God, Mal, we don't _care_ about that," Evie promised, "Your number could still be ninety-nine and we'd _fight _to be with you. Because we _love_ you."

But Mal shook her head.

"Go inside, E," she said, her voice thick with tears, "I won't ask again."

"I can't watch you do this, Mal."

Mal didn't even look back, "Then _don_'_t look_."

But Evie couldn't look away, and when Mal realised, she sighed.

"Fine. Have it your way, E. _Awefecung,_" she hissed, and Evie felt the sleepiness behind her eyelids, then knew no more.

* * *

Mal took a deep breath, and let herself fall to the sounds of Carlos and Jay's screams as they burst through the door.

* * *

She'd hung suspended in the air, an angel of death. Her wings had unfurled, 14 feet across, black as the night. They had slowed her fall, and Jay and Carlos had watched as she sank through the air, as though in slow motion. She had still hit the ground, and hard, but her wings had curled around her as she did so, and saved her life.

Later, the Faerie Godmother would explain to her that suicidal tendencies pushed up the counter.

Later, Mal would tell them how she'd always thought that killing herself would be an inevitability.

Much, much later, the mark on Carlos's hip would start slowly dropping, with help from therapy and antidepressants, until it settled on thirty-eight.

* * *

In the end, they couldn't live with _seventy-six, _or _eighty-four, _or _ninety-two _or _one hundred_. But they _could_ live with _seven_, or _fourteen_, or _twenty-six_ or _nine_. They could live with _twenty_ and _four_ and _sixteen_ and _thirty-eight_.

Maybe their lives would have been different if their free time wasn't spent staring at numbers telling them how close their lovers were to dying. Maybe if it wasn't constantly in the corner of their thoughts, if they weren't always drifting into worry when their mark flickered, then maybe their paths would have been different.

But fear is the most powerful motivator, and so living happily in Auradon was the decision that made them _happy _and _safe_.

Because, even though Auradon had some issues, Auradon was _safe_. Auradon was safe and so that meant that Mal and Evie and Jay and Carlos were safe. It meant that Ben and Uma were safe, that their children were safe. It meant that Crown Princess Calypso was _safe_. It meant that Isla and Magnus were _safe_.

Auradon meant _safe_.


End file.
